Our Baby Journey: Fertility Drugs

So if you have been following along I have been recapping our battle with infertility.  Starting with this first trip to the fertility specialist a year and half ago.  You can check out my first two posts here and here.

This past summer Cole and I decided we were finally ready to start trying to have kids.  For normal people this would simply mean all walls of defense would go down and magically at some point I would find myself pregnant.  Not in our case. This meant rounds of fertility drugs, ovulation tests and all manner of things that made me a nervous wreck.

I took my first round of clomid (50 mg) in July.  I literally developed an eye twitch during this time.  Were were in the middle of closing on our house, buying a new one and I felt like making the biggest decision of our life....the decision to start a family. Well I didn't much matter anyway because the clomid showed no signs of working and each and every ovulation test was negative. After the eye twitch incident I decided I was going to take a few months off before I followed up with a Dr. visit and the next round of fertility treatments.

In September as we were closing on our new house and moving I decided I could no longer ignore my issue.  I wanted to.  Believe me.  I wanted nothing more than to table this for 6-8 months and deal with it when I KNEW Cole and I would be ready for kids.  But a little voice inside of me told me it wasn't going to be that easy and I needed to put my big girl panties on and deal with the road in front of me.  So I did.

I went back to the Dr. explaining what had happened.  I also told him I was not interested in taking another round until next April.  "It just works a lot better with my work schedule" I explained.  This is when what I like to call our "come to Jesus" talk happened.....

My Dr. very graciously and patiently explained that he loved planners.  That we [planners] make some of his best patients.  "We are proactive, organized and always take our medicine on time."  I thought ok so what's the issue??? Then he proceeded to tell me that I had no business planning this.  That I literally had no control over the situation and trying to plan it was going to set myself up for some potential serious disappointment. He compared the fertility process to losing a family member each month. "The first month you lose your mom, the next your dad, then your brother.  It gets harder and harder."

I held back the tears as I nodded my understanding.  He then got up grabbed his RX pad and said "are you excited about your baby?!" as he exited the room. I had no idea what had just happened.

Happy Hump Day Friends!

xoxo,