Our Baby Journey: Prayers Answered

I am overwhelmed with emotion as I write this post.  In a lot of ways I wasn't sure if I would ever be writing a post like this.  While in no way did I have all of the odds stacked against me "not responding" to fertility treatments prepares you for the worst case scenario.  Thankfully I finally came to a place where I knew even if God's plan for my life didn't include having children of my own I was ok with that.  I finally sifted through the emotional pain I was feeling and came to terms with the fact that God knew best. He always does.  His plan would exceed anything I could imagine...and let me just tell you he has blown what I "imagined" for my life out of the water.

Let's back track.  So remember our last hurrah with Clomid?  It wasn't working, my Dr. recommended daily injections and we were on our way.  Well Cole and I chose to try one last round of Clomid (200mg which a freaking ton). We both wanted to feel as if we had done everything in our power before we moved to a more extensive procedure.  I honestly felt like the cycle was a giant joke.  I hadn't responded in the months prior so why the heck would I now?  Not to mention my Dr. explained that the higher I went up with my clomid dose the less likely it was to work properly.  Awesome.  You can see why I felt like it was a waste of time.  But we did it anyway.

We went in for our ultrasound and things looked very similar to the month before.  The only difference was that I had a fantastic nurse this time who also had trouble getting pregnant and was an avid runner. She is also one of the most positive fertility nurses that I have ever met.  She was encouraging and then she said something that we hadn't heard yet....."I want to check you again in two days, to see if your follicles grow." Cole and I were in shock.  Everything looked practically the exact same as the prior month except this time my estrogen level was a little higher.  Still super low but higher than it had been. We were excited.  The next two days I stuffed my face with any and all foods that could "naturally increase estrogen" like a complete psycho. I was on a mission in a short period of time.  We went back in two days later and to our surprise my follicles had grown!  The bare minimum of course but they had grown!  My estrogen had also increased quite a bit.  The same sweet nurse said we should move forward with a trigger shot 2 days later and an IUI 2 days after that.  Holy Toledo.  I couldn't believe we were actually getting to try!!! 

I knew this was no guarantee and a serious long shot.  I had multiple friends who had one failed IUI after another.  But I had never had one.  I had never even been at a place where we could have one.  I was excited, nervous and anxious.  I immediately started preparing myself for the next steps if this didn't work.  I would need to order the injections from Europe which would take about 3 weeks....so I would have about a month break in between cycles, etc, etc.  The same night we found out we were going to be moving forward with the IUI I was mildly panicking at the house waiting on Cole to get home.  My imagination was running wild about all of the ifs, ands and buts.  Then I randomly got this text from one of my students.  Her text read " Mrs. Edwards this may seem a little strange but something told me to share this with you today!"  I literally felt as if I received a text message from God.

I read this devotion over and over and over in the days to come.  It was my sounding board in an extremely stressful situation. To our amazement the IUI was a success.  My FIRST IUI an absolute miracle. I know without a doubt I would not have made it through this process if God hadn't spoken to me in so many ways.  He gave me peace, patience and faith when my human mind wanted to scream and give up hope.  The two week wait was one of the longest two weeks of my life and the day I got a positive pregnancy test is a moment I will never ever forget.

Things don't always work out the way you would expect them to.  God doesn't always deliver when you want it or how you want it.  But I can honestly say when he does deliver it will blow your mind.  The hardest part about the past few months has been keeping my dang mouth shut.  I have wanted to scream it from the rooftops.  God has given me the desires of my heart and then he gave me even more than I ever could have imagined.

Thank you for the prayers, the support and love throughout our journey.  I know God listened to everyone's prayers not just mine and I am forever grateful for this challenge in my life.  It has made me appreciate being pregnant so so much as well as shown me how faithful God is.

 "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." - Ephesians 3:20-21

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him." - James 1:12